By Olivia Wynkoop
Sex Week – the time where Danish kids learn all about sex, uncoincidentally held on “week six” of the year. But it’s not just awkward silence in classrooms, vague “birds and bees” lingo or condoms on cucumbers.
Brejning Continuation School’s 9th and 10th graders went to Aarhus’ KØN Museum for an interactive lesson on consent and gender expression. Here, they can peruse exhibits about porn, puberty and gender inequality on their own whim.
A Transgender guest speaker and more workshops at school are next on the agenda following their field trip.
Educator Andrea Ellegaard feels that sex is a mystery for a lot of kids, one that’s often only uncovered with in-person experiences. But having frequent, non-judgemental conversations at a young age can make it easier for them.
“The more you talk about it, the easier it will be. You can have some experience without having sex,” Ellegaard said.
Simone Due Rasmussen, mediator in KØN’s school program, said up to five schools a day are visiting the museum this week for socio-cultural lessons on sexual expression from the past and present.
“I know some schools have a harder time doing it, so it’s better to get out and have this conversation with someone who’s not their teacher every day,” Rasmussen said.
Some 20,000 teachers and 40,000 students grades 0 to 10 will access free sex education materials from leading advocacy group Sex & Samfund this week, which are also available year-round online.
The organization declared consent as the main point of conversation for this year’s Sex Week, following a recent uptick in reported rapes.
Up until 2020, Danish law defined rape based on physical violence or if the victim was “unable to resist,” not on the basis of consent. This means survivors who froze up during an assault – which experts say is a very common response to trauma – had less access to pursuing legal justice against their perpetrators.
“The Consent Act is a crucial milestone, but consent is about more than law. We need one significant and long-term cultural change to prevent abuse. And that requires a basic showdown with the myths, norms and expectations for gender that prevail in our society,” Stavngaard stated in a press release.
It starts with teaching consent in schools from a young age, said Jeppe Hald, national project manager for Sex & Samfund’s Sex Line, an online counseling service for Danish youth.
For a preschooler, understanding consent might mean deciding if they want to give their Aunt Agatha a hug or not when they see her.
“What if you don’t like to be hugged by Aunt Agatha? Is she entitled to hug you anyway?” Hald said. “No, you have the right to say no to Aunt Agatha, and she has to respect that. You can decide who can touch your body and when they can do it.”
At the sex line, Hald’s seen students inquire about how to ask what their partner wants, how to interpret a yes and how to tell if they’ve been sexually violated or not. The gray areas of consent are especially prominent when alcohol or social media is involved, which is why conversations need to address the real-life complexities of a “no” or “yes,” said Hald.
“There are different ways of showing and giving consent. It doesn’t have to be a legal form, it doesn’t have to be a ‘yes I like this, yes I like this, yes I like this.’ It’s more fluid,” Hald said.
Comprehensive sex education standards have been a state requirement since the 70’s, but adequate skills, methods and materials are lacking, said Hald. As a result, non-government sexual health organizations are filling the gap and providing information for teachers.
“There has not been that much education for the teachers in how to do comprehensive sex education,” Hald said. “I see a lot of professional schools not teaching classes or curriculums on comprehensive sex education to the teachers of the future.”
Hald said he feels hopeful that younger people will be more empowered to maintain their own boundaries in love and friendship with the direction sex education is taking.
“I think more and more younger generations will know that they have a right to say no and understand some of the complications of saying no, or saying yes,” Hald said. “Sex is a lot about saying yes and asking for what you want, too.”
